...and that's faith enough for me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

It's a test of ultimate will...

So far Holiday Season 2007, has not been as festive as I thought it would be. I have the same feeling of "stuck-edness" that I have had all year. I am feeling a bit restless, and want to get things underway. Maybe I just caught a spell of cabin fever. I have been coasting here for a while. Where as it's been nice not to have to be somewhere, I feel it's time for me to get going and start to generate some gainful employment, more importantly get my life back on track, or just on a track. Things are coming together slowly, but my impatience is getting the better of me right now. I am suppose to put together a small sampling of my cooking, for an actual professional chef, talk about intimidating. I have no formal training, unless you consider watching The Food Network as training, but I am confident in my abilities. It mainly that this is a brand new experience for me, meeting with someone in the business, someone who has expertise, someone who can actually help me out. I still have to pinch myself sometimes, to make sure I am not dreaming all of this. If I were still at 'The Grind'...scratch that I don't want to think about that place right now. Brings up too many bad memories, even worse too many good ones.

Mom is still in the hospital and it looks like she is going to be there through Christmas, so that is where I am going to be spending my day. Turns out that the cancer did come back. The obstruction was removed, but she is still having the same pain she had before going in. I'm praying and hoping that it's just a "mental" reflex. Her doctor did say that there were a couple of other spots that he was going to monitor, but everything was removed during the operation. I've been to that hospital so much that I feel like I work there. Not that I am complaining, I just want mom to get better and get out of there. Although the nurses will miss her, she's their favorite patient. Feisty, was the term used to describe her, but in a good way.


Then, to add insult to injury, while the family was at the hospital during mom's had surgery, someone broke into my parents house and stole all of the copper plumbing. They took nothing else, no televisions, dvd players, or money, just the plumbing. That's the new rage now in the old neighborhood, break into a house and pillage it for the copper. It's mainly abandoned houses that this happens to, which makes this so odd. Good thing is they rent so it is not their responsibility to have things fixed. Bad thing is with mom due to come home within the next few days, and the house has no water or electricity, and no heat. If things are not ready by her discharge she'll have to stay with my brother. He lives in a basement apartment, so it would be easier for her to get around and he has a few more amenities(cable tv) than I do. She is now very determined to move out of the old neighborhood, but there seems to be some resistance from my father, but that's another story for another time.

So the "Toughest Year Ever" continues on. I can't wait for 2007 to finally end. Ten days and counting...












Some would said they never fear a thing
Well I do
And I'm afraid enough for both of us
For me and you
Time, if nothing else, will do it's worst
So do me that favor
And tell me the good news first

Atmospheric changes make them sensitive again...

It's hard to believe that it has already been a month since I left 'the Grind'. Feels like yesterday I was "hooked in", and going aimlessly about my life, just doing the bare minimum to be consider part of the living. My progress has slowly coming along, but that's okay. After the first couple of projects I've done, I have realized that there are still things to do before I go fully operational. I have just about completed putting my idea down on paper(menu, business cards, brochures, contracts), and soon it will be time to make it presentable to the people who matter the most...the banks! I have done an additional party and have plans to do another two, a dinner party and a Superbowl Party. I am looking at early 2008 as my launch date to when I start to actually try and make some real money. Small to medium size at first stuff at first, nothing more than about 50-75 people, but I could see the Holiday Season 2008 being a benchmark period for my new enterprise. In the mean time I need to tidy some things, and put the polish back on my skills. There are only a few more things I need to get equipment wise, and then I'll be ready to tackle anything. Deep-Fried Ham, anyone?

So that's the good news, now on to more pressing matters. Mom is in the hospital again. Nothing too serious, but more serious than we had originally thought. She hadn't been feeling too well the past few weeks, and finally today she was admitted into the hospital. Good news is that it is not the cancer coming for a return visit, that was our biggest concern, but there will have to be more surgery. Hopefully this will be the end of the tough part of her recovery. We knew that even though she had been given a clean bill of health, that there was still some healing to be done. It hasn't even been a year since the initial surgery. My brother has already written off 2007 as "The Toughest Year Ever" for our family, which I can't deny has been pretty difficult at times, but as the saying goes, after the storm the sky is cleared...or something like that.

Even though it seems that issues that I thought were finally resolving themselves seem to be coming back around, I still have a deep feeling that everything is going to be just fine, even better than fine. I need to get ready for the next phase, and a new set of responsibilities in my life. It is now time for me to fulfil my potential, and to take care of those around me, most of all myself. I am greater than the life I once lead. Not that it was a horrible way to be, but it was very limited. A friend of mine said, " 'the Grind' was not conducive for me to show the world what I am made of.". Thanks, I couldn't have put it better myself. I have complete faith that despite how tough 2007 has been for my family, or how tough things may get, that we will make it through and prosper. What's just as exciting is that I faith in myself to do the same. Watch out 2008 here we come...

Look! The mist is rising

And the sun is peaking through

See the steps grow lighter

As I reach their final few

Hear the dancing waters

I must be drawing near

Feel, my heart is pounding

With embattled hope and fear