Living one long sunrise...

I am trying my darndest to stay positive, and not fill myself with misery. Things have come to almost a complete stand still, and I can feel frustration building up. I was able to finish my business plan so I can try and get some money so I can be more agressive marketing the business and gather the necessary supplies to run it smoothly, but once again I have fallen victim to the lack of having a working printer. I was able to print off a few flyers and business cards using a friends printer, however that proved to be an ordeal that I would rather not experience again. The computer I was printing from did not have the same program in which I created the documents so I had to go through the arduous process of converting over to another program and reformatting everything, and where as the end product was satisfactory, it was not at all what I had originally envisioned. Plus ink was in short supply(as is cash), and I fell well short of the desired amount that I needed to effectively carry out my initial marketing blitz. All this could be rememdied if someone, anyone called me back in regards to employment. When I left 'the Grind', I knew I would have to get employment elsewhere in order to make this a go, I must have put in upwards of 15 to 20 applications and resumes over the past two months. Unfortunately nothing has yet to materialize, added to that I had two party cancellations. Like I said, I am trying to stay positive, I don't regret leaving 'the Grind', if I was still there I am sure I would not even be as far along as I am now with the business. That place had a weird effect on me. I had no sense of hope about the future, no ambition. So, leaving was the best thing I could have done for myself. However, my personal Homeland Security Code has reached Level Orange. I need something to happen and happen quickly, or I will be in a world of hurt. My sleep pattern is all jacked up and I am having a difficult time remaining focused(and awake) during the daylight hours. Even when I force myself to stay up all day after an all nighter so I can sleep during normal sleeping hours, as I am doing today, I still can't seem to get back on track. Insomnia is getting the best of me. I am looking for a job at night seeing as that has become my time to shine, so to speak, but those jobs are not as plentiful as I once thought. Despite the obstacles, I am still optimistic, although everyday is a test of my resolve. I keep telling myself to hang on, and stick to the plan, because it a solid one and it will work out. Problem is I just haven't been afforded the oppurtunity yet to prove that it will, and that's what's frustrating...


Another foggy dawn
The mountain almost gone
Another doubtful fear
The road is not so clear
My soul grows ever weary
And the end is ever near